Does anybody really know what time it is?

My time at Eastern Michigan University is nearing four years . I major in Computer Science and minor in Math and Recreation and Parks Management. Computer Science and Math are both categorized as part of the College of Arts and Sciences. A building near the center of campus named Pray-Harrold houses the College of Arts and Sciences administration, faculty, and classes. Consequently, I have spent countless hours absorbing information in its halls and classrooms.

This outer facade looks odd; shaping a building like a mushroom is fairly uncommon. However, I can appreciate the fact that Pray-Harrold is designed in the International Style of architecture. This style (probably a subject of a future discussion here) emphasizes optimization for functionality without applied decoration, creating a style by distributing solid and void. Emich.edu reveals some more information about the building:

"When it opened in 1969, Pray-Harrold was said to be one of the largest classroom buildings in the United States. It had been built with an appropriation from the State Legislature for $5.6 million. The exterior was designed to match the architecture of the University Library and other buildings around the central part of campus. The seven-story building accommodated 4,500 students each hour in its 75 classrooms and four lecture halls. Fully air-conditioned, the structure provided office space for 407 faculty members. Functionally, the building was designed with the most heavily used areas, the classrooms and lecture halls, on the first four floors while the offices were located on the top three floors."

The aforementioned air conditioning is nice in the summer. However, during the warm weather in the spring, they initiate the cooling system without turning off the heat (I believe they do this in case it gets cold again, for shutting down and restarting the heating system is a large ordeal). This creates an awful situation. The whole class period feels like an uncomfortable shower; you sweat like crazy, although you feel cool. The whole building develops a muggy ambiance. However, my next point motivated me to write this piece. Every class serves as a reminder...

There are exactly two clocks on each floor of Pray-Harrold. They hang on walls opposite one another in the common area by the elevators. Usually, these clocks disagree on the current time, neither one being close to correct. This has always struck me as odd, seeing that classes and tests revolve around specific periods of time. Yet, every classroom in Pray-Harrold has two, yes two, coat racks. In a building designed with optimal functioning in mind, why does every class need two coat racks?


As you can see above, the racks sit on either side of a little resource closet that holds supplies and resources needed for class. Even should a student want to use the racks, they must bring a hanger to class. I have never understood their existence, for it seems pretty pointless. Yet, today I decided to try them out, and their performance receives an A+. That rack held my coat for the duration of the class period. I fully endorse these commodities and suggest you try them too.




So, next time you have a class in Pray-Harrold, bring a watch and a hanger.

What about Bob?

Linux, OSX, Solaris, WinXP, Longhorn, et cetera. These are all fine examples of operating systems that have had a major impact on computing in general. The goal of the modern operating system is to provide an easy but efficient way for a user to utilize a computer's hardware optimally. Many people argue that computers are too confusing, and long for a simpler interface. Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.

In early 1995, Microsoft released software entitled "Bob". Bob can be run as an application, or start up automatically (like an operating system). This marvel of modern programming was designed to help novice users. Like most products of genius, it totally flopped. Windows 95 came out later that year and blew it away.


Bob sets up your computer as a room, with different functions being modeled as objects. When new objects are created for DOS or Windows programs, they appear in the room as boxes with the program's icon. Bob features a plethora of sound effects, protecting you from boredom. Besides the public family room, you can make other rooms modeled after various swanky styles. My fave is retro, who knew you could write an email and get awesome interior design tips concurrently?


Notice the turtle with the backpack? His name is Shelly, one of many guides that assist you in this complicated adventure. The first version of Bob contains 12 guides. They will talk, make noise, wish you happy birthday, and do your taxes! Each customizes their vocabulary to their personality. Rover (the basis for the help dog in XP), likes the word scrumptious. My favorite guide is Scuzz. We are both rockers at heart...


So, why am I showing you this treasure of computer science? Well, I like it. I would like to purchase a copy and run it myself, no matter how inconvenient. I feel that I should show you what happens when software programmers treat you like idiots. So, next time you have a problem with your computer, use your knowledge to figure it out. Should that not work, call Rover... he will be glad to help. Scrumptious.

Images from toastytech.com and winhistory.de

May I see your library card?

Lately it seems that the age for dressing provocatively has been in a downward death spiral. Young mothers that wish their parents would have let them dress too suggestively buy scandalous clothes for their daughters and label it "cute". Well, I have seen grade-schoolers in mini skirts shorter than their attention span and tube tops that look like a sleeve cut off my T Shirt. Besides being tasteless, this has created a difficult situation for single male human beings all over the universe.

If she looks like she's 24, and she says she's 24, she's probably 10. When meeting new prospective dating options, a prudent gentleman should require a valid photo ID. Well, even that is a little extreme, but asking a fraulein her age is generally a good idea. It is difficult to judge a woman's age because makeup and clothes can make them appear years older. Stars like Hillary Duff and Lindsay Lohan are fine examples of this.

This is nothing new though. Where did it start? Who is to blame? Well, as with most of our nagging social problems, it spawned from 80s television.

Mama's family began in 1983. This program featured Vicki Lawrence as Thelma "Mama" Crowley Harper. Though only 34 at the time, Lawrence played a woman much older than that. Do not assign Vicki 100% of the blame, the idea originated as a sketch on the Carol Brunette show. Oddly enough, Betty White of the Golden Girls played Ellen Jackson on the show between 1983 and 1986. This segways to the other half of the conspiracy.....



The Golden Girls started in 1985 with Estelle Getty playing Sophia Spirelli Petrillo Weinstock. She was 62 at the time, 2 months younger than her TV daughter Bea Arthur. Yet, she played an elderly woman that had previous experience in a nursing home. Picture this, a generation of young people watching this show and following this example. These ladies broadcast that it was funny to misrepresent your age, but the menfolk today are not laughing. [note: I do think the Golden Girls is hilarious, so I guess I am laughing...]

Officer, she said she was 80. I swear!

Pictures taken from vickilawrence.com, poeforward.com, and quotenmeter.de.

What happens when the sun goes down....

Until recently, dental floss served as a means to tie something together in a pinch. Come on nah, who actually uses that stuff? Well, I am a convert. It is true that my unhealthy eating habits may be killing my arteries. Hell, I can feel the blockage resulting from every white castle burger. However, I will get the last laugh. Health nuts that eat right and routinely exercise still may be killing their arteries by ignoring that little white box of floss. You can add years to your life by spending 2-3 minutes a night??? Sign me up...

According to floss.com, (yeah, who knew there was a floss.com) you can add up to 6 years to your life expectancy by flossing regularly. The site explains, " The reason is that if bacteria that causes periodontal disease is allowed to build up, it can trigger an immune reaction which can cause your arteries to age." The research backing this was done by Dr. Michael F Roizen and his work can be found [here]

Other benefits of flossing include better breath, less plaque, reduced tooth decay, and a general feeling of self-worth. Floss.com also shows that "People with periodontal disease are 1.5-2 times as likely to suffer a fatal heart attack and 3 times as likely to suffer a stroke" and "Mothers of prematurely born babies were 7 times more likely to have advanced periodontal disease than mothers whose babies were normal weight at birth". So, be a good mother and floss your teeth.

How do you do this? The process is severely complicated. Check out an informational presentation [here] Click on the floss tab and hold onto your seat.

Now, as will be common with this site, I will not display any information I find conflicting with my viewpoint. You only get my side of the story. I supply you with what I choose to believe, and you critically evaluate this information by yourself. Feel free to comment and tell me I am wrong. And, in defense that I am 100% right about flossing, check out [the tooth fairy's website] She supports flossing and that's good enough for me.

In the beginning:

Mission Statement: I write these words to provide you with insite to the workings of my brain and to showcase the world with a tinge of amazement and wonderment.